Regrets

I hope that this finds you doing superbly well! Whoop, whoop here it is! The first Newsletter-Blog for this month of September. Can you believe how fast the time has gone?

Julian Barbour argues that time does not exist as anything other than an illusion. Although the laws of physics create a powerful impression that time is flowing, in fact there are only timeless ‘nows’. Now, I don’t believe in coincidences but it so happens that finally Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” found a way to me.

Aha! So is it coincidences, time, or the power of nows, what this edition is going to be about? As we say in German “Jein”: which is basically a mix between Yes – Ja and No – Nein.

I think we need to talk about regrets. Which has somewhat to do with time.


Regrets

No regrets please 

Do you know this funny cat meme?
The cat has its face full of pie, and swears to not regret her decision.

“Being upset over a past action” as regret is defined in the thesaurus, is not always as easy for us humans as it was for the cat that ate the pie.

This subject links somewhat to the subject of guilt we talked about last August. Yet more than guilt, I am talking about a really big sorrow, some sort of grief that weighs you down immensely.

The description of regrets given by the Internet is “a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.” It’s this one question that we cannot get rid of:

“What if…?”


What if?
Yes, what if?
What if you had made that other choice? What if you had decided to have kids instead of a career? What if you had decided for a career instead of kids? What if I would choose less cliché types of ‘what if’ questions?

What is your biggest “what if” question? What do you regret having done instead of something else? I hope you are saying: absolutely nothing – I regret absolutely nothing. Like the cat in the meme.

My goal is to make you understand that (as my teacher Ardaas Singh said): if you made the choice, it is because at that moment you were ‘tuned in’ to that decision.


Regrets, remorse and guilt 
All three can be related to that decision or choice you made.

Trust me, there are times when I wonder what the other Melanie in the parallel universe is doing right now with a husband and a couple kids in suburbia, living a totally different life to mine.

What if the puzzle pieces to my life had been placed together in a different way?

I think the answer here lies effectively in living in the present.
The answer lies in the Power of Now…  

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.
Eckhart Tolle


Food for thought
What I want you to do is take some time to reflect. Use this opportunity of me challenging you to go through Your Life, and check what areas of life are not working out for you.

You may have made some bad decisions in the past which you regret – but that does not mean that you cannot make different choices today and change the course of your life.

The key, however, and be very clear of this, the key is that as long as you have the same programmed subconscious patterns in your brain (so you do not work on yourself or your beliefs at all) you will obtain the same results. Exactly the same.

Only through the power of transformation will you be able to transition into new experiences.

The most difficult step in the process is the first one – your decision that change is the only way forward. Controlled change. A clear strategy that will help you to transform your life – even if you have regrets about the decisions in the past.


Regrets – I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention.
Frank Sinatra “My Way”

The goal is to build a life to which you can say at the end: Yes, it was my way.
What do you need to stop doing right now to have fewer regrets?

Some tips

Raise your consciousness
Become aware – become you. This is what we say in Kundalini Yoga. You can use this powerful technology to get rid of all the layers which are not you, and become just you.

Define your values
What is the most important thing for you? By ‘values’ I do not mean your Gucci handbag or your Versace on the floor. I mean the intangible motions, like love, compassion, family, helping, spending time alone.

Once you have defined what is most valuable for you in Your Life, you will find it easier to align your decisions accordingly – having fewer regrets.

Serenity
It helps. Serenity means also that you develop a certain stability in yourself, having fewer regrets as you act from a place of the heart chakra – Anahata.

When you start acting more from a place of the heart as opposed to satisfying your ego, you will feel different. You will receive love because you give love.

The heart chakra is associated with unconditional love, compassion, and joy. When your heart chakra is balanced you will feel deeply connected to the flow of the universe.

Be present in the presence – live.
Let it flow. Yes, it could have been this or that. You could be richer than the Queen of England had you not sold the stock options so early. Yes, you could have married that man and now live happily ever after.

Happily, ever after. Is there anything in your way right now to be or to become happy? Are you really linking your happiness to a past incident, to money or to another person?


In Conclusion

The only thing that you hold from the past are memories. In fact, they are not memories, but the emotions you tie to something that happened. Whether you regret how you acted in that occurrence depends on what emotional response you link to the memory. So, in a sense, it is just as irrational to hang on to a past memory then it is to project fear of the future, because you cannot know what is going to happen a second from now. The only thing you can predict is how you are going to react to whatever happens. And this reaction depends on your personal evolution and development through time and circumstances.

 

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.
Fulton Oursler 

Aad Such Jugaad Such Hai Bhee Such Nanak Hosee Bhee Such

Light & Love

 

 

Like us:

Leave Your Comment

Your email address will not be published.