How gorgeous was this May? I hope that you are enjoying the spring. We for ourselves, aka Louise and me, cannot get enough of being outside.
In the last Newsletter-Blog, we talked about some key lessons that I came back with, from our trip to Nepal. Well, I left out one, because I believe it needs to be treated as a standalone subject:
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.
Honore de Balzac
Self-doubt has a way of penetrating under your skin.
What if it isn’t good enough? What if I am not good enough? What will the people think? What if I am not worthy? Am I doing the right thing?
Isn’t it something we fear? Being rejected, being neglected, not being loved – or not being able to love.
It starts in the cradle, and continues to grow as we are infants. We thrive to be better than our siblings, to get more attention from our parents, and we crave to hear this one thing: I am proud of you, darling.
Is self-doubt then self-preservation?
You grow up receiving all sorts of messages, making experiences, storing many different things in your mind. Most of everything that you take in goes straight into the subconscious, because there is only so much that you can consciously process.
The negative mind of course has a mission to protect you (the negative, positive and neutral mind are the three minds that we have). Hence, to any undertaking that you may have, it will go and say: wait a minute!
Wasn’t there something once, and then you did that – and wasn’t that awful?
If you spend your lifetime storing negative messages and beliefs in you, and not clear what Yogi Bhajan calls the “poop of the subconscious”, then no, self-doubt is not from a place of protection or self-preservation, but a sign that you are not ready to move on.
Am I making a much too controversial statement for you there?
Look at this. When does self-doubt appear?
When you are scared? When there is uncertainty involved? When you expect too much?
There is only one certainty in life and that is uncertainty!
The faster you accept to lean into uncertainty and be comfortable with it, the easier it will become to accept doubt.
Do I feel self-doubt? Hell yeah. We don’t have all the answers, but we can go on a journey to discover life, and adapt ourselves to whatever the circumstance requires.
Doubt is related to faith and trust. Believe that you are born into this world to fulfil a purpose, and that the universe has your back – this is a super empowering belief & doubt becomes unnecessary.
You have about 1.000 thoughts per blink of the eye. If you picked up one, and you are consciously thinking about it (f. ex. a career change, having a baby, going on a world trip), then it probably is meant to be.
Otherwise it would just have passed you by, like the 999 others.
No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.
Dr. Robert Holden
The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.
Our relationship with ourselves determines our relationship with everything else. If you accept yourself the way you are, in all your messy magnificence, then the authentic you – the only you there is – will no longer need to have three faces.
You are, who you are.
If they don’t like you, then that’s their problem – not yours.
As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.
Here is my short list of ideas to get out of self-doubt:
Find a way to be okay with self-doubt. Don’t justify it, don’t judge it. It will go the same way as it came.
Talk about it
Sometimes you need advice and some helpful hints. It can help a lot to talk about whatever you are doubting. Worst case scenario, you have to start over. In most cases however, just some minor adjustments to the plan will suffice.
Learn from it
If you fall 7 times you get up 8! There is absolutely nothing wrong with learning from an experience that did not go as sweet as. Errors are there to help you see further. You don’t have to be fault free.
Imperfection is a part of our shared human experience.
Be kind to yourself. While it’s easy to extend compassion to others, it is often harder to include oneself in this circle.
Value your Self
Don’t underestimate yourself: you have come so far, maybe got a diploma, a higher degree, or a top-notch job; maybe you raised kids or did some volunteering – so far, so good! What could possibly go wrong now?
Mantras are projected words that will help you alter your Consciousness. The Miracle Mantra Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru makes the impossible become possible. Why not give it a chant?
Ramdesh Kaur says about this mantra:
At times when there is tragedy so great your heart aches with the thought of it, there is only one mantra that comes to mind: the Miracle Mantra, which lives in the realm of the heart and operates on a frequency beyond comprehension. When I need miracles, I call upon this mantra, “Dhan Dan Ram Das Gur.” It brings in the miraculous powers of Guru Ram Das, Lord of Miracles.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
Light & Love