August 2016 marks the month of the summer Olympic games in Rio de Janeiro. Maybe you followed some of the contests? There were some amazing presentations, for example by Simone Biles in gymnastics. As I was watching the athletes compete, I figured out something that we need to talk about. Here is what crossed my mind:
What do you think: for every flip, every summersault, every element that sat so perfectly in her gold medal performance, how often did Simone fail to do so?
The gold medal is a big job! Leading up to it is sweat, hurt, anger, frustration and a lot of training, and things that do not go well. For every summersault that sits perfectly, there are many that don’t. The reverse side of the medal is not so shiny.
Is this not our life? One thing is certain: don’t give up! Just because it did not work out the first time, there is still progress to be made.
The Reverse Side of Life
Decide what it is what you want.
Write that shit down.
Make a fucking plan.
Work on it.
You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.
I was having a really bad day, as you do, from the revere side of life. Fortunately, I have a fantastic life coach with Carl Massy, who snaps me out of self-pity. Our job as life coach is also to snap you out of your self-inflicted misery.
When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.
Carl asked me to tell myself “I love you”. I couldn’t. In that moment I had lost the gate to happiness: self-compassion.
Yogi Bhajan says that the highest status which a man can enjoy in a human life is self-compassion.
“If you ever want to be compassionate, be compassionate to yourself. Others can handle their life. It is your life, and you are supposed to handle it and that is called Divinity of God. You shall not understand the other person’s feelings accurately, intuitively, if you are not compassionate to yourself, period. Your friendship won’t last, your relationship won’t last, this, that, won’t last, because if you do not have passion for life, and compassion for the self, you do not know what the damn life is.”
One of the Five Sutras of the Aquarian age reads:
Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times.
How to deal with the reverse side of life?
Start. When the time is on you, start, and the pressure will be off. You have to start somewhere. Might as well just take a small step into the direction.
Patience. Rome was not build in a day. Yep. It sucks. I know that you want things to be fast, to work out right now, to be perfect straight away. Nope. That’s how you get entangled with reality. Spend time on practicing. Let things grow. Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. (Jean-Jacques Rousseau)
Trust. What You Seek Is Seeking You. (Rumi) Your energy goes there where you are putting your attention. Once you start something, you realise that all the dots are commencing to connect. Just be open to the opportunities.
Have fun. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you are having so much fun doing it!
The reverse side of a medal, as with the reverse side of life, is that things are not just always smooth. It takes a lot of work to get gold! It takes a lot of work to get to a level of happiness. You cannot just expect happiness to enter without making space for it. Growth and change are part of life. So make sure that you are enjoying it for all the right reasons.“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” Confucius