This month I read an article on how being unhappy is just as addictive of a feeling as being happy. Now let that pass through your head again slowly:
Unhappiness is just as addictive as happiness is
In other words, pain is just as much a reward to your system as pleasure is.
What do we make of that?
As February is the month that we celebrate the commercial day of love, also called Valentine’s Day, I felt like digging deeper into that concept and thinking about what that means in regards to relationships. Please share your comments with me on Facebook or below this blog.
That Thing about Love
Happiness is a state of mind. So is unhappiness.
First things first: it is all in your head. The concept of happiness is a human-made construct. There is much debate, among which “do we need to discuss it?” Let’s do. As Yogi Bhajan says “Happiness is your birthright”.
I was clinging to an unhappy situation in my life because it gave me just as much gratification as a happy state of mind. Wait a minute: what?
For the last 2 years I was repeating the same story in my head – a story about a relationship that made me so unhappy that this state of unhappiness became part of my reality.
Sound familiar? It does not have to be a relationship. It can also apply to another part of your life: business, career, confidence… What is the first thing to do when you become aware of such a pattern in your life?
Uncover your beliefs
Yep. If you have a coach, or had a coaching conversation with me, you will know that we (the coaches) repeat this over and over and over… beliefs construct your story & your stories construct your lives. It’s pretty mathematical really:
Analyse your beliefs ↔ Uncover your stories ↔ Detangle your life ↔ Change your results
Once you work your way through those counsel newsletters sent around Valentine’s Day, you detect a common theme:
You get what you think you deserve
What do you BELIEVE you are worthy of? Does this belief empower you or is it something that holds you back? And yes, let’s talk frankly; what are your beliefs about love?
Now, we could muse all day about LOVE. You have sensual love, sexual love, personal love, conditional love, etc. As a Kundalini Yoga teacher, I turn to the lectures of Yogi Bhajan.
The Siri Singh Sahib Yogi Bhajan defined love as “the ultimate state of human behaviour where compassion prevails and kindness rules.” Ultimate love is unconditional.
Love is one word most abused in the human vocabulary. Because the first condition of love is, when you are in love or you love somebody, you have no question to be asked. Where there is a question, there is no love. Where there is a condition, there is no love. Where there is an expectation, there is no love. (Yogi Bhajan)
The difference is Ego and Consciousness. Sensual love and sexual love are Ego. Unconditional love is your consciousness and your self-acknowledgement. Love becomes so pure that you just love. It will not satisfy your ego because it has no dimensions and no attachments, no projections, no conditions.
That is the challenge of unconditional love.
In case you are wondering whether I solved my disempowering relationship issue: well, I created the first step in raising my awareness. There is still a road I have to travel by, beliefs to work on, and yes, the right kind of person to attract. Maybe we will work our issues out, maybe not. Maybe even the belief is in my akashic record, maybe not. So for now, let us just close this LOVE month February with the following thoughts:
Do your beliefs on love include the love for your own soul?
Do you believe that you deserve love and that you are worthy of love?
Of course you are!
Light & Love