A new year means 12 new months and 12 new opportunities to share advice. I put much thought into what subject you might get the best out of. Again, please do not hesitate to let me know if you are dealing with a situation, problem or challenge in Your Life which we need to address. Chances are that you are not the only one being challenged in this matter & together we can truly make a difference to each other.
For this first Newsletter/Blog of the year I was thinking that it was about time we thought about overthinking, don’t you think?
Why don’t you think through that again?
It is true. I do love to overthink my overthinking. Every damn time!
I am a big fan of going through the same thought over and over again.
Do you know what the problem is?
The result stays exactly the same.
Einstein called insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Isn’t that overthinking? Is overthinking then in reality, insanity?
There is nothing wrong with a little creative mess. Just remember: it is utterly useless and illogical to attempt solving something over and over again if you cannot change the outcome. Your mind is trying to make you its slave, when in fact, you are its master.
Overthinking, also, best known as creating problems that are never there.
What if you could change the outcome of what you are overthinking?
What if you could master this beautiful talent of yours called overthinking?
Not everyone does it you know, overthink. It may be a unique trait. We may even have to congratulate ourselves, the club of overthinkers, that we possess such a unique talent.
What I am trying to convey is that overthinking is nothing bad.
The mind and its thought waves are a vast, critical subject. I am currently in the process of developing new tools which will help you to better understand their impact, and in essence, will aid you to better understand yourself. Today, let’s focus on three crucial areas:
Assumption: “something taken for granted; a supposition; arrogance; a presumption”.
You are introducing an argument into your reasoning that might not exist in the first place. There is simply no evidence to support your claim. You are building your thoughts on a scientific vacuum. This is related to your system of beliefs.
What you are currently overthinking does probably not express a law of nature (aka science), but something you believe is true.
What do the 3 laws of logic say?
- The law of identity: it is only raining, if it is actually raining.
- The law of noncontradiction: it cannot be raining and not raining at the same time.
- The law of the excluded middle: “it is raining” is either true or false. There is no other alternative.
Assumption is the mother of all fuckups…
You had an awful experience once. You are probably still trying to overthink all the angles to understand what da ***beep*** (excuse my bad French) really happened.
Here is something you may not realise:
“The content of the memory stays the same; it is how we remember it that has changed. Bad things happened and have consequences that we have to live with, but they need not to haunt us. Their power to make us feel bad in the here and now is derived from the way we think about them. The crucial distinction to make is between the actual event at the time, and the meaning and power we give it by the way we remember it.” (O’Connor, J. & Seymour J., 1990, Introducing NLP, p.45).
You can, for example, simply take away the colours from your memory, or move away from the scene and become an observer instead of a partaker. The memory thus changes.
Behavioural patterns rule! They are stored super deep down, in our subconscious or unconscious. You actually only operate with around 5% of your mind; the rest of the 95% is auto piloting you through Your Life.
That’s right! You only act about 5% consciously all of the time.
For the rest, you react according to how your software is programmed. Unless you break the habits and change the behavioural patterns, you will end up with the same results over and over again. When you work with me in life coaching, you know that this is one of the first actions we cover: reprogram your software.
Let me share with you the advice that my own life coach Carl Massy gave me: put the overthinking into creative use. What do you like? Painting, writing, knitting… whatever works for you. Direct your energy into working on your own personal chef d’oeuvre.
Live in the moment
Take a deep breath and focus on living the present moment instead.
Get out of your head and into your heart. Think less feel more.
Take a few seconds to do nothing else but breathe. Put your left hand on your heart, palm facing right. Push with your right hand, resist it with your left. Pressing on the fingers; no bending. Then go back to your thoughts and see how they changed.
Alter your physiology, so literally step out of it. Just move your body and your thoughts will be disturbed by the movement.
When you are overthinking you are essentially arguing with yourself. You are trying to outwit your alter ego. Go with your heart. The mind thinks. The heart knows.
Slow down! Turn off your brain. Meditate.
The mind loves to think. In fact, it never wants to stop. The final keyword I want to give to you is this: action. There is nothing that can trouble you as much as your own thoughts. Let it go! Move on!
Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.
Light & Love