About apologies & Forgiveness

Too little, too late
One interpretation of an apology is that it “should” not have happened. The almighty creation, God, the universe, the Matrix, the alien…whatever your definition of the higher power all around us is,… it happened because God made it happen.

Making it wrong that it happened is not authentic. If it should not have happened, it wouldn’t have. What is done is done.

Don’t project guilt or punishment on yourself or on others.

The 7 tells us that everything repeats itself until we change it. Authentically change it.

If you haven’t learnt a lesson from what has happened, it will repeat itself over and over again – maybe even in your next lifetime (… and is passed on in the lifetime(s) of your children).

Nothing is going to change unless you initiate authentic change: meaning, head and heart!

Never apologise
This does not mean that it is a free ticket to rude behaviour! If you practice Kundalini Yoga you will have heard your teachers talk about grace and radiance. About the Yamas and the Niyamas which you can find referred to in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras.

They are the code of ethics, if you will, to live by, beyond what you practice on your mat. Yamas are the moral disciplines, and Niyamas the observances.

Hence, theoretically, as excellent disciplined yogis, we live by these high ethical codes and we don’t have grounds to need to apologise, right?

However, because life, there are sometimes situations in which you are challenged to an apology.

My spiritual teacher, Shiv Charan Singh, proposed instead to go deeper into this (uncomfortable, certainly) situation and try and find out why the person opposite wants an apology.

Someone wants an apology – but they really want something else.

All of this to say that the big cornerstone of the number 7 is forgiveness. Kindness, mercy and forgiveness were the virtues that Guru Har Rai, the seventh of the Sikh Gurus, embodied.

“Nirvair” in the Kundalini Yoga Mul Mantra. A state of being without enemy, without rage.

The opposite of forgiveness is non-forgiveness, and that has a parasitical nature. Non-forgiveness dissolves the opportunity of individualisation of your spirit. In life you establish a false identity that you are trying to preserve. Preservation is a natural state of being. But we are preserving our mistaken identity. This is not our Sat Nam, our true identity.

I’ll leave you with these food for thoughts for the moment, and hope that you are enjoying your days, wherever you are right now on this planet:

What does forgiveness mean to you?
How can you move into a state of true forgiveness?
Why do we find it difficult to forgive?
What are the consequences of not forgiving?
What has to happen for you to move towards forgiveness?
How can you apply pre-forgiveness in your life?

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